


Broken

by Ineedapuppyandsomevodka



Category: Marvel
Genre: Clint Barton Bingo 2019, Clint Barton Has Issues, Hurt Clint Barton, M/M, Mentions of past abuse, Trust Issues, Whumptober?, brief mention of rape? nothing is in detail though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2019-10-26
Packaged: 2021-01-03 17:02:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21182900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ineedapuppyandsomevodka/pseuds/Ineedapuppyandsomevodka
Summary: Clint's been hurt a lot, but he's never really been broken.





	Broken

Broken:  
Trust had never come easy for Clint. He had been taught from a young age that people were always going to let you down. 

His father let him down. Fathers were supposed to be there for their children and to take care of them. They weren’t supposed to throw their kids around, or hit them or lie to the doctors about what actually happened. 

His mother, rest her soul, she let him down too. Mothers were supposed to protect their children and to make sure they had everything they needed. She stood by and watched as his father beat his hearing out of him, and she helped come up with the stories at the hospital. 

The doctors let him down when they didn’t recognize the signs of abuse. Doctors were supposed to fix things, to notice things, to make it better. Both he and Barney had plenty of bruises that were a tell-tale sign of abuse, yet everyone brushed it off as boys being boys. 

He was let down by teachers who didn’t care enough and who wouldn’t slow down a little for him when his hearing aids didn’t pick up everything they said. They made him feel stupid when he wasn’t, didn’t give him a chance when they should have.

He was let down by caseworkers who placed him and his brother with a foster family who molested him. 

He was let down by his mentors in the circus who taught him how to flinch, how to keep his goddamn mouth shut and what getting stabbed felt like.

His big brother who had been the one he trusted most of all, let him down the hardest. His big brother who took hits from their father for him, who made sure Clint knew how to read when the teachers wouldn’t teach him, who took him away from the foster family. His big brother who stitched him up the first time he got stabbed, ripped all the trust Clint had to shreds when he left him to bleed out in a dumpster in the middle of a cold, harsh winter.

So, when Clint met Phil Coulson, he knew not to trust him. He knew to assume that things were too good to be true. What would a guy like that want with an 18-year-old carnie who’s best skill was shooting a weapon from the paleolithic era?

However, Clint quickly started to realize that trust wasn’t something given but it was something earned. Some people aren’t like the people he grew up with, some people are patient, and some people won’t turn their backs on you the first opportunity they have.

Natasha Romanoff was his first exception, however. He trusted her way more than he probably should have. There was something about her, something in her eyes that screamed for help. A look that he was sure he had when Coulson stumbled upon him that cold January night. He was supposed to kill her, to end the Red Room, and while Red Room had crumbled, he couldn’t bring himself to end her too.

The trust that he found in her, she found in him. Clint didn’t trust anyone the way that he trusted Natasha; they had each other’s backs, no matter the circumstance. Natasha was a friend. 

Clint found a family shortly after. Not a family like the ones he had before. This one was dysfunctional, yet perfect. Clint could be himself around them with few worries. He was able to open his heart a little and trust that with these people... things were going to be okay. 

Then Loki happened and it got a lot harder to trust again. He fucked up in a lot of ways those few short days, but it was enough to have him incredibly distraught and distrusting of a lot of people.

The fall of Shield happened, and Clint really, really didn’t know who to trust. He knew Natasha would always have his back, and Steve... well Steve was the one who helped to bring Shield down, there was no way he was dirty. 

Then he met Wanda, and he really didn’t know what to think of her. She was a kid, and like him, she had been through a lot growing up. She seemed to like messing with other people’s minds, though, and that scared the shit out of him. He gave her a chance, though, an opportunity to change and to do the right thing, much like he had done for Natasha. Wanda was kind, strong, and a much better person than Clint could ever be. 

When Steve found Bucky, however, things changed for Clint. Clint didn’t know he could care so much about a person that he knew so little about. He wanted to get to know Bucky. He wanted to be there, to help him. He wanted to make the pain that he so clearly felt go away, and he wanted to offer him comfort. 

Bucky was different than the people Clint had met before. He was tired and worn out, and most of the light had been sucked out of his eyes, but yet, despite everything, Bucky trusted. He trusted Steve, who he’d known since he was little. He trusted Natasha whom he’d known on and off for a few years. He trusted Sam who pushed his buttons and Wanda who could mess with him in more ways than one. He trusted Tony, despite his harsh words, and Vision who just didn’t make sense. Bucky trusted Clint, and Clint didn’t have to do anything to earn that trust. 

There was just something about him that Clint quite couldn’t shake. He was drawn to him, and soon he fell in love with him. Clint had felt love before, but never like this. He had felt warmth before, but never like this. 

“I love you Clint, but I can’t do this anymore.”

He had been broken before, but never quite like this.

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a really long time since I have written anything, so many apologies if it's not that great, I'm just trying to get back in the swing of writing every day! Hope you enjoy!


End file.
